(photo taken from Google images) I've been debating on sharing this for a while now because I wasn't sure if it would be appropriate but as I thought about it gently I realized I had learned and still in the process of learning the meaning of this whole experience. Within the past 2 years I've had PRECIOUS friends (to many to count anymore) who were VERY influential in my conversion and my testimony in general leave The Church. Some got records removed, some left quietly, some left not so quietly (anti Mormon), some decided that they were going to have relations with the same sex etc. My heart has been broken for quite some time now. I've cried so hard many times as if these people had died. Some people probably wouldn't have taken it as hard as I did but I've had spiritual experiences with these people that are to sacred to share freely. These experiences have allowed me to feel God's love immensely. Never did the thought ever cross my mind that these PRECIOUS friends would ever leave the faith because they were not only influential to me but to MANY others. So I carried this heavy heart for a while and just when I thought it couldn't get any heavier I discover another friend who made the same choice. I've talked to many friends including my Dear husband for advice as to what they think I should do. And I don't remember how many times I have asked WHY. But finally I have received an answer that has brought calmness and peace. Mark and I renewed our temple recommends a few days ago and as I was meeting with that high council man he asked me right when I was about to depart "do you have any questions for me?" Not wanting to take much of his time because I knew there were others waiting I responded "Oh that's okay". He proceeded to say "Sister, that's what I'm here for" With tears streaming down my face, I opened up and told him everything that has kept my heart from smiling completely. When I was done he replied with such a MeEkNeSs that can make even the stubborn hearted perk up and listen. He retold the story of the woman who was caught in the very act of adultery and was taking to Jesus and the men at the time wanted to stone her but was interested to see what the Savior would say. The Savior responded "he who is without sin let him first cast a stone at her" and their consciousness was filled with guilt and they all left. At first I was confused as to why he was telling me this story but he brought out a very sweet and tender point. The Savior asked the woman "woman where are thine accusers, have no men condemn thee, neither do I. Go and sin no more". (This is not verbatim I'm going off of memory)
My loving leader told me that I needed to learn how to love like the Savior. When he told me this simple truth it pierced my core. I had an Ah Hah experience. God is teaching me how to love as he loves. My job is not to preach & condemn but to be a friend, to show puuuuuure love. To reflect the image of the Savior in my countenance. When I left his office my heart didn't seem so heavy any more. I don't know if you had a similar experience with PRECIOUS friends choosing similar life styles but if you do, I encourage you to do the same. Learn to love HOW the Savior LoVeS, and then reflect it.
3 comments:
i love this.
That's so wonderful that your Stake president told you exactly what you needed to hear. I never shared my conversion story with you, but I was basically coming back to the gospel right around the time I met you and and all those BYU_H friends. Those beach house boys were so influential in helping me come back to church and accept the gospel in my life again. And then I went on to meet so many other BYU-H friends who I also had profound spiritual expereinces with, and was so inspired to come back. So, like you, I have been heartbroken to find out so many of them have chosen not to believe. I used to ask WHY? did God use them as an instrument in his hands so I could come back, and then they leave?? Anyways, my point of view is that part of God's eternal plan is free agency, and those friends who influeneced me and then left are doing exactly what I've been enlightenedd about in Sunday school--using their God-given free agnecy. I pray for them, love them, and hope they find the gospel again someday. In the meantime I am so thankful they were there to leed me to God so I could understand the purpose of my life.
Thanks for sharing this Vega. I needed to hear it too. :)
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