Esther's Birth Story

Warning: This is for personal history purposes, so if you're not in to detailed explanations, I wouldn't even attempt to read it.

Well you know, it wasn't anything I expected nor could have prepared for how it all went down. I don't mean to compare but when I think of laboring for Eve, I think of PAIN, SUFFERING, ANGER & LOVE. Her birth story was indeed a spiritual experience but it just didn't feel good. I don't know if that makes sense but it does for me. I guess I just want to say that not all spiritual experiences are pleasurable. Okay with that background knowledge let me move on to Esther's birth. I started feeling contractions at 1:30am on the 3rd of April. They were pretty noticeable so of course I got excited, but I didn't want to wake up Mark or my mom just in case it was a false alarm so I hung out in the bathroom for a while texting my sister. The contractions were about 10-15 minutes apart, but after about an hour it started drifting and became very irregular. So irregular that I just went back to bed. Thinking that I needed to rest up for the big ones. Who am I kidding, didn't get an ounce of sleep. The excitement overcame me and I just wanted them to come faster so I started visualizing my uterus blossoming like a flower. I focused on my breathing so I could be completely relaxed. I even invited my body to allow more pain so I could speed up the process. After a while I thought maybe Mark could help move this process even faster if he could show a little affection, but he was out of it. He just turned over and went back to sleep. I kept visualizing in my mind how determined I was to have a pleasurable birth experience no matter how much pain I was feeling. I thought for sure the baby would come by 6am, but time past and it was now 8am. Mark and I were trying to decide if he should take off work or stay home since they were so far apart. Because we weren't sure what was going to happen he stayed home with me. They were so far apart I kind of forgot that I was in labor. The whole day I was nauseated and had bad diarrhea. Yup that was my labor! When it got to 5pm I encouraged my mother and mark to leave the house and go grocery shopping. Since they were in the house all day just waiting for some action on my part. When they left the contractions started to get more noticeable so I stayed in the tub for about 2 hours. It just relieved the pain. After my bath I tried to eat dinner with my family but as I looked at my plate I just wanted to throw up. I left the table and quickly went into the living room so I can crawl on the floor. It took so much pressure off my bottom, it felt great. I looked like an 80 year old tiger crawling around and rocking back and forth. After dinner I just wanted to take my mind off of the nausea so we popped in a movie. Half way through the movie I told Mark what the heck lets start timing these contractions. Each contraction I had I would gulp some hot herbal tea down and that made it feel better. By the 3rd contraction that hour I felt my little girl reach out her hand and POP, my water broke. I ran to the bathroom to see what it looked like and it wasn't what I expected. It was a mustard color. I remember reading that it was supposed to be clear or a pinkish color, so I started to get worried. We quickly gathered everything into the car and before we left I had Mark give me a blessing. When we got to the hospital it was about 10pm and I notice the color of the water was a light green. I knew it was metaconium (Baby's first poop) When I told them my water had broke and the color of it, they immediately admitted me in. I gave them my birth plan and requested a wireless monitor so could walk around and ease the pain but they told me my birth plan needs to change. Because she pooped in the water bag she was at a high risk of pneumonia, also every time I had a contraction her heart rate would drop. They were afraid that she was under fetal distress and by me walking around it would make it worse. So I had to stay in bed and embrace every contraction that came my way. Fun, Not! When my doctor came in she suggested that they stick a tube up my uterus to flush out the dirty water with salt water. At that point I said "give me the epidural" I wasn't about to labor the whole time laying down in a bed. That's just a black eye waiting to happen. I got the epidural (I hate needles by the way) with tears in my eyes not because of the contractions but because of that darn needle. Shortly after it kind of kicked in. I didn't feel all the tubes in me nor my feet but I did feel each contraction. For me the epidural didn't take away the pain it just took the edge off. Which was nice so I fell asleep. After about 2 hours I jumped from a dilation of 3 to a 10. I woke up with excruciating pain. It felt like someone had completely turned off the epidural. I yelled to Mark "someone turned off my epidural". He quickly tried to pump more of it in the tubes by pressing the bottom over and over again, but it didn't work. I told him to get the nurse. He quickly ran out side to get the nurse while I was screaming bloody murder on the bed. It seriously caught me off guard. I went from sleeping to unbearable pain (similar to Eve's birth with no drugs). When the nurse came in she chuckled and said "oh your baby is just letting you know she's ready because her heads out, let me get your doctor". Next thing I know there's about 6 nurses in the room all ready to quickly grab her when she comes out and pump any poop she may have had in her lungs. We were told she couldn't come on my tummy and Mark couldn't cut the cord because she was at high risk and they needed to be quick. I suddenly got nervous because there were so many people in the room staring at me (a little awkward mind you). I seriously pushed maybe 3 times and she was out. My heart felt like it grew 10 times larger and it was going to burst with so much love. Finally after all these months I said to myself "it's you. You're my little girl." She cried continually getting louder and louder with each breath. With each cry I started to cry. I felt at peace. I felt love. I felt complete. I felt happy, relieved, and joyful. I felt the Spirit! and Mark and I shared that moment together, along with all the other strangers in the room. It was a SWEET experience! Happy birthday Esther Kaile'a Denninghoff, Oooh we love you!


April Goals:
1. Embrace Motherhood
2. Embrace Womanhood